Times have changed and divorce seems to be the easy way out. It seems that any time couples have problems they chose divorce as a way to escape. However, parents do not realize that the people most affected in these ending marriages are their children. Two websites were visited, Oregon Counseling:Divorce and Interview with Judy Wallerstein, and they both discussed the effects of divorce on children.
From the site, Oregon Counseling:Divorce, it can be determined that divorce has different impacts on different children. There are factors that can make the situation better, but there are some that can make divorce worst on children. It is good for children of divorce to at least have the involvement of one, if not both, parents in their lives. It was generalized that parents do not have to be perfect for their children, but they need to be there emotionally for the child. Be the emotional supporter for the divorced parent negatively impacts the child because they feel responsible for their parent. Instead the parent should provide all the love and emotional support for their child to help them get through the situation. Children’s feelings should also be considered when contemplating divorce, because that will allow them to feel that they were not completely ignored through the decision of divorce. Divorce should also be the solution when there is abuse going on in a relationship. Sometimes children don’t understand why parents divorce and they may also stop trusting and that is why it is important to talk to their children.
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From the site, Interview with Judy Wallerstein, it can be concluded that divorce affects children of all ages. It seems to have more strain on a relationship when the child is older and involved in their own family life. They feel responsible for their parents and neglect their own family.
Children of divorced families seem to have more fear of being abandoned. This site discussed how the absence of fathers cause children to want to find them later in life and has negative impacts far into the future. Like the Oregon Counseling: Divorce site, this site discusses how it is important for there to be the involvement of at least one parent actively. Also this site adds that the involvement of grandparents is good and may end up saving the child from some future problems.
Both sites reveal that there will be some behavior problems along with emotional problems after divorce. One site focused more on the fear of abandonment and problems with relationships. While the other talks about the acting out and conduct problems. Both sites say that divorce causes children to feel mistrust towards people. The sites differ because one focuses more directly on children and makes generalizations, while the other is more personal accounts and solutions. Both sites provide solutions, but one has less solutions and less personal accounts.
There were two other websites I found very useful, Father of Life and Impacts of a Court Mandatory Parenting Program. Father of Life provides information to fathers on how their absence affects children of divorce. It also gives these fathers a chance to ask questions online, it gives advice to mothers, and it also gives information to help fathers assist mothers in childrearing experiences. I think this site is useful because fathers are not always there for the after affect of divorce and they need to know how they can help their children cope. I think that the Impacts of a Court Mandatory Parenting Program is a good site because it tells parents that there are programs out there to help get through divorce. It gives the impacts of the program as well and provides a way to help children and parents get through what could otherwise be a hard time.
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